Kerala Oil Massages

Been a while…. ☹️ Okay just back from the Kerala Ayurvedic spa/ treatment. Landed up 15 minutes early and met at the entrance by – okay let’s call him “mr.chubby”- Short chap with a winning smile. We exchange a few pleasantries like we’re on a first date, and he points to the treatment room. He leads, and before I could even step in, and realize the 2 open windows faced a public parking lot and the main road; mr chubby was already standing behind me with his shirt off. “Well Hello. Did I miss something here?” I nearly ask him, but then I just smile. Chubby asks me to do the drill while he picks up a white cotton cloth, not more than the size of a large hand kerchief. And he goes about tearing it like a street magician,” (just so you all know- I love magic)🤦‍♂️. I watch carefully, “I shall now turn this white A4 sheet into a “mundoo” that will cover you like an extra in the hit movie avatar”. Anyways I watch in disbelief as he does exactly that-okay barely. 🤨 I’m impressed. Chubby points to a small bench on the floor and turns away again, I’m wondering if this guy is shy or actually giggling with his face turned. I look at the stool and though a tough ask, I start getting ready to sit down on the stool. Chubby turns, “aiyoh saaru,” he goes and gestures for me to step on the stool and get onto the treatment table., which looks like a large main door from karaikudi. 🤦‍♂️ Since I’ve earlier been to a similar establishment in Trivandrum, I know the drill from here. Except chubby has got an ace up his sleeve who walks in- another guy and they do a classic “four hands” on me. 🙌🏼🙌🏼 They both seem probably unimpressed they didn’t see a six-pack on me, and go about trying to fix that- vigorously. I felt like apologizing, “sorry cheyta, 20 years too late”. Chubby on the right seems to be taking his job seriously, while “the apprentice” who didn’t seem to have grown to a position of authority to take off his top at work, seems to be still learning to be rough with his clients. I keep wondering what the consequences of having unevenly balanced chi in my body would result in…. epilepsy? Polio? Stroke? 😬 Anyways if there’s a way to describe what was happening- Think of a party game where you swallow a boiled egg and then have your team of two try to push it down your digestive system…. and out without squashing the egg. Fastest team wins. 🏆okay you can stop imagining now….. Anyways post the main event, they put me through the normal steam contraption and then point to the bathroom for a hot bath. As a couple here may remember, the last time I went for this treatment in TVM, this was where I really hit it out with the masseuse. This time though I only had the company of a half used clinic shampoo sachet to keep me company, I then remember what Osho said, “the seed of all our pain and unhappiness is in having expectations from people.” and since it’s Sunday I’ll end on that spiritual note for now. Chubby jumped onto his moped and just like that we parted ways never to see each other again- like 2 ghost ships passing each other on a moonless night. 😂 Have a great week ahead guys.

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