Letting go

So, its that time of the year again in office – talk performance and rewards with staff. You have to come to terms with the fact that you can’t have everyone happy, but the key is to be fair. Its about having those awkward conversations, and setting expectations. It’s about plotting your team on a “bell-curve”- a small % of folks you see a future and invest in going forward, a large population of “worker bees” (acquaintances you want to stay connected with) and a small % at the bottom who are slowing you down and you should “let go” off. Hmmm. Just reminded me that we are the CEO of our own lives too, and we need to be willing to do all of the above with the people in our lives, if we want to take control of it. Take a good look at the people you want to keep close, and invest in those relationships, make those “no agenda” calls to your acquaintances, and don’t forget to have those awkward conversations and be ready to “let go” of people you would cross an ocean for, but you know wouldn’t even jump a puddle for you when it matters. Hmm, okay now, I got to go ponder on what I have done to make sure I stay at the right end of the “bell curve” with people that matter to me… 🤨 #omtruths #themorningblade

A bend in the river

A bend in the river: The ship is not lost my friend, the river just bends….

it’s amazing how many people on my team I’ve spoken to recently have just decided to “move on”, some with infants in hand, some just spirited away alone 1000s of miles by siblings to escape the harsh reality, others deciding to leave a good job, to a land far, far away, with all their savings to start anew. Many with a hope that things would change for the better- most with a fear that it won’t. – And then I look back at a time not too long ago, when I was hoping for the bend in the river, and the “collateral damage of living” to vanish- or so we hope. So now you see a person staring blurry eyed at a banana in the grocery, a mother sitting in front of a keyboard at work holding back tears and getting fully immersed in the mundane mechanics of a 9 to 5 job, and the first realizations that life has us all staring at the horizons of our mind for the river to take a bend. So you’re now wondering when the bend in this post is going to happen. 🤔Well it’s that there’s a simple, fun way to do your good deed for the day- call a friend and share a cup of coffee together, smile, lend a ear and assure each other that the river bends just down the road and things would be alright after all. And that’s the only therapy we all need- more coffee! #bendintheriver

Stormy Daniels

So then we have the most powerful man in the world becoming weatherman for a day and trying to extend (to Alabama) the impact of hurricane Dorian using a “sharpie” permanent marker. Somebody please tell him that just sleeping with a lady called “stormy Daniels”, doesn’t necessarily qualify him as a weather expert. Ironically many of us have a lot of close ones around us holding “sharpies”- people who haven’t even had a “stormy Daniels” type experience in life, but somehow seem to qualify as an expert in all of life situations- relationships, investment, parenting, job change, etc. Just look around you, who are the “confidants” we run to when the shit hits the fan, or when we need a big decision made? Just some glib-talking, “maama” in the family with a “sharpie”, because he is family, “knows it all” and professes to have our best interests? Hmmm. As much as I sound like the guy with the “sharpie” at this moment, 🥶 … just remember- take advise, but do your homework, trust your instincts and make your own decisions, because you have to remember, that whatever your strategy – you have a 50% chance it will go wrong, and it’s therefore best you make the decision, so you’re atleast fully invested to see it through and take full responsibility for the outcome. And finally while we’re at it, don’t fall for the “fallacy of sunk costs”, and continue to invest in a decision that’s probably not going anywhere- but south. We all have done it- you pursue on a decision not based on the desired outcome anymore, but purely based on the time, effort or money you’ve already put in. It could be a career, a marriage, mundane things like sitting through a movie, knowing full well within the first 20 minutes, that this was a bad choice, or encouraging your kid to go through that engineering degree because you paid a capitation fee, fully aware that he’s just not cut out for it in the 2nd year itself. Cut your losses, bail out. So there, if you’re an American and you need one reason to vote POTA back, it’s this – he’s taught us all a lot more about life than we’re willing to accept. 🤦‍♂️ #weekendguru

Personal Truths

Any place there’s going to be points of views- there’s going to be stress, because not all views are going to be in line with our beliefs. Social media is a typical example. I’ve had to take Facebook “sabbaticals” in the past, sometimes even sadly block acquaintances I’ve known for years, etc. Then I realized- I don’t need to necessarily agree with people. If I say “the sky is blue”, and someone says “no it’s green”- I now just shrug my shoulders in my mind and just say “okay” and move on. We’re not here to seek approval, acceptance or validation of our thoughts – are we? the “blueness” of my sky is not threatened by how “green” anybody else sees it. Does it? Someone may think the current PM is gods gift to mankind, which is based on his/ her “personal truths” made up of individual values and beliefs, etc. I may disagree, but then there are no “real truths” out there- it’s only “personal truths”. What technology, AI and ML are doing these days is to cultivate strong biases. Have you noticed how google recommends articles and ranks results based on your previous search patterns, etc. So now we live in a crazy world of strong biases and cultivated opinions, and social media has given everyone a platform to air them openly and not always with responsibility. So the next time you see someone post something that doesn’t fall in line with your thinking, stop and think and don’t react angrily- just understand that it’s just their “personal truth” they’re expressing, and by reacting angrily, you just let people know that you don’t fully believe in your own personal truth and feel threatened. … Smile and move on my friend- smile and move on! #personaltruths